Midlands Movies Worst Films of 2021
Midlands Movies Worst Films of 2021
In a world stuffed full of negativity I’m often reluctant to add to it by focusing on some of the poorer films released throughout 2021. But I also think it’s my duty to save people the effort of watching a right ol’ stinker of a film. So having “taken one for the team” (and more) I’m coming to the aid of cinema fans to help their decision-making when choosing which flicks to see, or not.
I won’t be placing them in any order of sorts – one waste of time is no different really to another waste of time – but the films listed below are definitely some of the most awful offenders this year from horror errors and dull dramas to sci-fi shitters.
Check out our thoughts and links to our full reviews (where we could be bothered to write one - as life is also far too short to dwell on these unpleasant entities). But if you are feeling brave and still want to see them even after reading, then watch at your own peril!
So let’s begin. 2021 started with the very much anticipated Wonder Woman 1984 – a day-glo retro flick that hoped to build upon the premise of the first WW film. That was one of the (very) few early highlights of the DC’s superhero cinematic universe.
However, with a lengthy and convoluted plot, terrible CGI and uninspired set pieces and characters, the film let fans down in so many disappointing ways. (Our full review)
Another sequel (soft reboot of sorts) was Spiral: From the Book of Saw which sold itself as a return to the dark gritty roots of the earlier films of the horror franchise. That couldn’t be further from the truth in a bland police procedural film devoid of any originality and with the thematic depth of an episode of CSI. (Read our writer Guy’s full review)
Next up, The Woman in the Window had an unbelievable stellar cast including 6-times Oscar nominee Amy Adams and Oscar winner Gary Oldman but that didn’t stop it from being one of the worst “thrillers” of the year and it rightly ended up direct on Netflix after poor US reviews.
Another thriller also devoid of thrills was The Little Things. This time with a trio (!) of Oscar Winners – Leto, Malek & Washington – the movie felt like it was ripped from David Fincher’s discarded notes from Se7en. (Our full review)
There were a number of sci-fi films that could have made the list (The Tomorrow War on Prime being one of a few) but the lovely Toni Collette could not save tedious space trip Stowaway. (Our full review)
The stultifying sci-fi continued in Neil Blomkamp’s Demonic which saw the once-promising director persist with his sad decline. Honourably filmed during Covid lockdown, it didn’t stop it being a horror with no horror and a straight-faced tale of a what should have been a schlocky premise. Having previously enjoyed the filmmaker’s socially conscious sci-fi and his Oats Studios experimental efforts, this was the most disappointing film of the year. (Our full review).
Art? History? True-life crime? War? Mystery? The Last Vermeer had some of my favourite themes to hang itself on and despite Kermode heaping some (mild) praise on the flick, the movie was a constant misstep of dreary dialogue scenes. It also contained some of the most terrible staging, blocking and directing I have seen in years as each fusty room is captured in the worst way possible. And now Guy Pearce is heading towards Bruce Willis territory with his abundance of straight-to-video action. C’mon son, pull your trousers up.
Many loved its campy blockbuster promises but overblown gaudy SFX cheese-fest Godzilla vs Kong was an absolute dud for me. “Video game CGI” is a term made for this film which saw the two iconic monsters beat each other up for over 2 hours. Give me Jackson’s Kong and Edwards’ Godzilla any day of the week. (Our full review)
Is there anything worse than unfunny comedy? Knockabout farce Blithe Spirit avoided any of what the stage show is known for – mainly laughs, and entertainment in general – in an uninspired adaptation from a cast who should have known better. (Our full review)
And finally, if one film could possibly considered the real stinker of the year, then Willy’s Wonderland would surely be a good contender. We are all fully aware of Nic Cage and his “amusing” turns in low-budget throwaway movies, but this one really took the cake. Amateurish beyond comprehension, Cage doing battle with animatronics gone haywire was truly a turd sandwich. And this in the same year as his tremendous performance in Pig too. Unforgiveable.
Side note – Bruce Willis and his films have been in Midlands Movies’ Worst 10 films of the year more than any other actor. He’s absent this year as after viewing the trailers to a number of his 2021 abominable zero-budget actioners I’ve had no inclination to watch a single one. Well done, Bruce. Can’t get a bad review if the trailer looks so bad no one watches the full film. *taps head gif*
Those films in full:
· Wonder Woman 84
· Spiral
· The Woman in the Window
· The Little Things
· Stowaway
· Demonic
· The Last Vermeer
· Godzilla vs Kong
· Blithe Spirit
· Willy’s Wonderland
Honourable mentions: The Reckoning, Don’t Breathe 2, Made You Look, In the Earth (sorry but I found this complete dross), The Unholy and Army of the Dead.
