St. Patrick's Day Massacre

Directed by Steve Lawson

2025

Creativ Studios

St. Patrick’s Day Massacre is the latest b-movie horror from Midlands director Steve Lawson who once again delves into the past to provide new spins on established stories and lore. 

And this time he uses St. Patrick’s Day as a jumping off point to create a tale of historic horror encroaching on the modern day.

We open in Dublin in 1825 with an Irish jig in a small rowdy bar before violence kicks off involving a man named Darragh O'Donoghue (Ben Manning) who is looking for revenge for his adulterous wife before a gunshot rings out.

We jump forward to the present day as we touch down in Dublin where a group of 4 women - Kendra (Ayvianna Snow), Leena (Marta Svetek), Sian (Annabella Rich) and Daisy (Jasmine Sumner) - go on a holiday trip trying to make the most of the day’s celebrations.

Some upbeat music and a round table of chatting in a club, there are hints to the fast-talking ladies from Tarantino’s sleazy Death Proof, as the girls try to get into party mode.

As they enjoy their drinks they are soon invited to a sort of seance at an abandoned tavern by an Irishman named O'Reilly. Although part of their jollies, they ridiculously agree to stay the night at this run-down shack of a place - look out, ladies (!) And given this ropey industrial part of town, they’d be better off staying in the Overlook given its appearance!

Director Steve Lawson has a habit of starting his films a bit slow and somehow getting slower. However, this feature is his best opening yet - creating an intriguing mystery backstory with a hint of action and violence.

A shocking cut into metal music breaks the period drama vibe though - it didn’t really work for me but hints upon the grindhouse direction the film attempts to go in. And like his previous output, it’s once again filmed in the Midlands with appropriate inserts, establishing shots and stock footage to sell the illusion we’re somewhere else. 

“Mostly” avoiding previous habits of telling not showing, the film does stall a little with the women chatting for longer than needed but when further information is given to them about why their accommodation is haunted we have some nice flashback inserts instead of dialogue (or the dreaded letter reading). The flashback also fills in some of the mystery set up at the start as well as some blood, gore and even a bit of “skin” for b-movie connoisseurs.

Eventually, one of the girls discovers a selection of newspaper clippings about a number of people who’ve gone missing on St Patrick’s Day and the real horror finally begins. Unfortunately we’re about 45 minutes in, and so lovers of grindhouse nastiness may feel a bit short-changed with the amount of action given its “massacre” title.

But a massacre we do finally get. Sort of. The kills come towards the end with the ghostly undead killer returning to seek revenge on these “gothic hotties”. A rusty curved saw is his weapon of choice and we see a few deaths as the girls are attacked one by one.

A lesbian love sub-plot is mishandled really, and then a shower scene throws in some more brief nudity before we get the scream queen/final girl trope everyone's been expecting.

A few more kills and attacks wouldn’t have gone amiss - that’s why we’re here right? But overall I thought this better handled in the main than the director’s previous efforts like Ship of the Damned, Wrath of Dracula and The Mummy Resurrection.

The writing, pace and editing have seen significant improvements - although there’s a fair bit of low budget walking with flashlights around darkly lit corridors - which despite some tense music didn’t particularly keep me on the edge of the seat.

However, at just over 1 hour 15 minutes in length, it certainly doesn’t outstay its welcome and throws in a few surprises at the end. St. Patrick’s Day Massacre takes all the usual aspects of the horror genre and although it doesn’t do anything particularly new with the material, the step up in terms of quality help saw it through to its grisly end. If you know Lawson’s work then this is one of the better entries so if that’s your bag, pack it up and join this trip to experience historical Irish folk-tale terrors in a spooky slasher horror.

★★★½

3.5  / 5

Michael Sales